Alcohol and Emotional Regulation: Why Drinking Can Make Anxiety and Depression Worse Over Time

For many people, particularly teenagers and even adults, alcohol may seem like a quick fix, a way to self-medicate or cope with stress, anxiety or the endless pressures of daily life.

Alcohol can provide a temporary release from the stresses we face in modern society, but the keyword here is temporary.

It’s important, if not crucial, to understand that relying on alcohol, especially in the long-term, can hinder your ability to manage your feelings effectively, making emotional regulation more challenging over time.

The key?

Developing healthier coping strategies that are vital for long-term health and well-being.

This can include naming your feelings and understanding your triggers, which can help prevent occasional drinking from turning into something more sinister and harmful, like alcohol addiction.

What is emotional regulation?

Emotional regulation is a term that is bandied about a lot these days, especially on social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok, which can add to the confusion of what it actually means.

Essentially, emotional regulation is about noticing and managing your feelings, even when they’re intense, even when you feel like you might erupt with anger, sadness, or even excitement.

Emotional regulation is not the same as suppressing your feelings; it doesn’t mean you should bottle everything up or, on the flip side, let your emotions explode or dominate your life.

The term ‘regulate’ is essentially another word for control.

Understanding this can hopefully eliminate any lingering confusion about what the term means.

And, in the process, help you take care of yourself, which is critical to avoiding the unhealthy coping patterns that often come with chronic stress or burnout.

By learning to self-regulate, you can ride out tough feelings in healthy ways and make choices that are good for you in the long run, instead of relying on substances like alcohol to do the job for you.

When emotional regulation is difficult, or there is too much going on in your environment, you might feel constantly on edge, numb, irritable, anxious, or like you can’t handle life without some way to escape – like reaching for the bottle.

Alcohol and emotional regulation

Alcohol is a depressant, which means it slows down your brain and body. 

At first, it might make you feel more confident, in control or calm, but over time, it disrupts your brain’s ability to manage stress and emotions healthily.

Long-term alcohol use can:

• Mess with the chemicals in your brain that manage mood and stress.
• Make it harder for you to control your impulses and think things through calmly or logically.
• Make you feel more anxious or depressed after the effects wear off (think the emotional hangover from hell).

Alcohol and anxiety: A vicious cycle

Alcohol might make your anxiety or depressive thoughts feel a little better for a while; it may take the edge off whatever pain you experience and even make the world feel a bit warmer and brighter.

But the goodness doesn’t last.

When the buzz fades, and it always does, the dark cloud of anxiety and depression often returns, with a vengeance – because now you’re tired, depleted, likely hungover, and riddled with guilt and shame about all of the above.

If you’re an overthinker (which many anxious people are), you may freak out about that embarrassing thing you said at the party, or that you may have overshared, or that you might have made a fool out of yourself or someone else.

On it goes – until you find yourself in a vicious cycle of shame, regret, and then more drinking to avoid the bad feelings that were actually brought on by alcohol in the first place.

This can lead to:

• Feeling more anxious the next day (or following days).
• Trouble sleeping or relaxing.
• Racing thoughts or panic.
• Physical symptoms like sweating or a fast heartbeat.
• Social isolation.
• Chronic shame.
• Using other substances like cocaine or cannabis to cope with difficult emotions.

If you notice that you are starting to rely on alcohol to manage your mental health, it can quickly become a habit that’s hard to break, even as your anxiety and/or depression keep getting worse.

It’s a never -ending cycle.

And the only way to break out of it is to first recognise you have a problem, get really curious and honest about what might be going on for you, and then consider reaching out for professional help and support.

Which we know is never easy, but it is often necessary to help you or the person you love avoid spiralling into a full-blown substance use disorder like alcohol addiction.

Why drinking can make anxiety and depression worse over time

As already mentioned, alcohol can have a significant effect on the brain chemicals that help you feel happy or emotionally stable. 

The more you drink, the harder it becomes for your brain to make those chemicals naturally. 

The cruel irony is that most people who turn to substances like alcohol to feel better are actually (often unconsciously) attempting to regulate a dysregulated nervous system with the very substance that causes it to become imbalanced.

The thing with alcohol is that it is profoundly misleading.

Many people think that by drinking they’ll feel better, more confident, less numb, less reactive, etc., because it often gives the illusion of calmness and self-agency.

It appears to be regulating something inside that feels jagged, off, painful or sickening – but what alcohol actually does behind the scenes is disrupt the very brain chemicals that help you feel calm, balanced, and in control.

When this happens, you might start to feel:

• Sad or numb most of the time.
• Like you don’t care about things you used to enjoy.
• Hopeless or ashamed.
• Less motivated to do the things that once gave you meaning.
• Angry or irritable.
• Socially avoidant or physically unwell.

Emotional avoidance: Delaying the real work

Alcohol can help numb out painful emotions, memories and ingrained beliefs, like stress, grief, or old hurts, for a little while. 

But those feelings don’t go away; they wait around until the exact moment the alcohol in your system begins to wear off.

When you stop or cut back, all those emotions and sensations you’ve been avoiding rush back, which can feel incredibly overwhelming, and even retraumatising. 

But if you’ve ever heard the expression – ‘You need to find a way in instead of a way out’ – then you’ll understand that gently confronting painful emotions or memories is also how real healing starts – with compassion, support and professional care.

The counterintuitive thing is that relying on alcohol can actually make it harder to bounce back from tough times, manage anxiety or depression, or keep relationships healthy and enjoyable.

The bottom line?

Drinking alcohol, particularly in the long-term, can make your mental health worse, not better. 

The good news is that there is a much better way to regulate your emotions without using substances, which is a process our team at White River Recovery supports individuals and families through.

Strategies for emotional regulation

To support healthy emotional regulation, we often encourage individuals to try the following strategies:

• Practise mindfulness daily: Stay present and attentive to your thoughts and feelings. Mindfulness enables you to enjoy everyday moments and cultivates emotional balance.
• Name your emotions: Take time to recognise and name how you feel. Understanding your emotional state helps you address what’s causing it and choose constructive responses.
• Apply cognitive behavioural tools: Challenge negative thought patterns and consciously replace them with more balanced, supportive ideas. This can help you move past distressing emotions without needing to drink.
• Reframe challenging situations: Work to shift your perspective and find positive aspects or learning opportunities in adversity. This approach can help transform how you experience and respond to challenges without resorting to unhealthy coping patterns.

Finding a better way: Recovery and support

Getting help isn’t just about quitting drinking.

Stopping the ‘thing’ (in this case, alcohol) that helps you feel better in the short term but is damaging your health in the long run involves a lot more than ‘not drinking’.

It’s about learning new ways to deal with stress, anxiety, and painful or overwhelming emotions, and, just as important, unlearning old habits and behaviours that do not serve you or your purpose anymore.

It’s also about finding meaning – because without that vital component, without attributing a purpose to what is often a long road to recovery, you may find it hard, if not impossible, to connect with your ‘why’.

And make no mistake, your ‘why’ is incredibly powerful.

It can be the very thing that stops you from engaging in whatever habit or behaviour is ruining your life, relationships, and making you sick.

This is why we often ask clients in treatment the following:

Why is it important for you to give up alcohol?

Who are you doing it for and why?

What will giving up drinking do for you and your life? 

What are the implications and benefits?

At White River Recovery, we support individuals and families who struggle with alcohol addiction to:

• Understand what triggers difficult emotions and feelings.
• Build new coping skills that actually help.
• Heal from past pain, unhelpful beliefs, or trauma.
• Reconnect with yourself and the people you care about.

Final note

Alcohol addiction is a disease of the mind, body and soul; it impacts not only the individual but the entire family unit.

Therefore, recovery must consider the ‘whole’ person, who they are, what they believe about themselves and the world, and their lived experience and values.

For recovery to be effective and long-lasting, it must involve the family in the process, helping each person heal in their own unique ways.

Real recovery comes from working through what’s underneath your anxiety and depression, not just masking through drinking or symptom management.

With gentle support, care, and the right treatment approach, things really can get better, and you do not have to face this alone.

If you or someone you love is struggling, White River Recovery is here to help. 

Contact our treatment centre in South Africa today to learn more about our alcohol addiction programme or for further help and support.